Refer to the section covering communication skills that begin on p. 250 of your text. What are some communication techniques that both Jill and Joe can implement to improve their relationship?
I have seen how bad communication in my own marriage can lead to misunderstandings and miscommunications. I have been a part of this exact situation. I have often misinterpreted what my wife is saying as her saying something about me personally, especially when it comes to stress at work. For instance, I have told my wife that I am not too hot about her current job, which is a night job. She is, however, her own person, so I am willing to be okay with the job because she really likes it. But when my wife is telling me about potential promotions and raises I sometimes think she is trying to talk me into keeping the job even though I really don’t like it. As to the example, I think it might be beneficial for the lady to first recognize that there is a direct link between her sexual frustration and Joe’s response to her work/financial frustrations. I think that the man should use the active listening technique discussed in the book. Just like asking questions in class, when a person has to offer feedback relating to the discussion they are much more likely to pay attention. Furthermore, in my own marriage, my wife has often expected me to read her mind and she even will become upset if I cannot. In the above example, I think that Jill should probably take the first step and provide some information to Joe about where he is going wrong. In my own marriage, I have often been completely clueless as to my wife’s marital frustrations. Yes, men are sometimes really that thick.
Finchner-Rathus, L., Nevid, J.S., Rathus, S.A. (2005). Human sexuality in a world of diversity, sixth edition. Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.